I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself again after a long time. My name is Alexandra, I am 37 yrs old and live in Fribourg, Switzerland together with my 3 people tribe: my husband, my son a.k.a. Friboy, and our non-human dog person Loko. I was born in eastern Romania and I am melting pot of the cultures that crossed that space, Romanian, Greek, Vlach.
Making art was and still is the journey of my lifetime, the calling of my soul…which for most of my life I was completely unaware about.
Do you know those people who are born and then they discover colored pencils and paper, and basically start making art from that point on…then they grow up and go to art school and are officially introduced into the artworld? I am not one of them. Although, I did discover colored pencils and scribbled like any child does…that did not turn into an art career. In the time and environment where I grew up it was never an option. Art was perceived as an unrealistic path, dreams and sensitive people had no place in the world.
I never got the chance even to be introduced to this side of life. School at that point was about pumping the brain with science and reproducing what other smart people have created, not about discovering your own gifts, who you came into this world to be, and dabbing into the alchemy of creation. Music and painting were just subject matters to fill the curricula.
Because I was crappy at reproducing what other people did and said (the humanistic sciences), I excelled at mathematics and the hard sciences, they felt more authentic to me. I had this insatiable desire for freedom and authenticity since I could remember, and mathematics was that for me, black and white…you couldn’t pretend around it or trick it with superficial reasoning. So I went into those hard sciences classes in high school and then “naturally” went to study Automatic Control and Computer Sciences Engineering at the university. At that point it was not even a choice, it was like a domino set in motion for me the moment all other choices had been removed. I landed my first job at Microsoft and decided that I want to become a Project Manager because I liked the complexity and versatility of the role. It was challenging my mind which was always looking for more and more complexity because it felt good, I was career driven and a workaholic. My brain was addicted to the rush of chemicals the body produces when challenged…and it naturally looked for external validation of the worthiness and sense of purpose that I lost through years of conditioning and self-betrail.
So how did I get into making art? When my son was born I experienced my first awakening. When I held him for the first time it was like a mental fog lifted and I experienced a deep feeling of recognition and knowing. I saw how perfect we are born and how layers and layers of inherited societal and cultural conditioning chip away at that innocence until we betray ourselves to fit in and be accepted.
So for the past 10 years, I allowed myself to go back to my authentic self again and discover what I came here to do by experimenting, playing, taking risks and removing all the history and conditioning I had inherited and created in this life and that were standing like a dense fog between me and my true nature. I got curious and passionate like a newborn. I opened an ethical toy company for kids, I went on cultural roadshows and did ethnographic field work, I discovered semiotics through collecting and embroidering ethnic clothing and got so obsessed about it that I enrolled at the University of Neuchatel to study ethnology. I quickly realized that I will not find my answers there and quit that, to launch into a private quest that turned into my own personal dark night of the soul and one of the biggest blessings of my life. I battled with burnout, depression and OCD which was so crippling that for a long time I didn’t know how I was going to make it to the next day.
In a way I was sleepwalking through life, confused about my direction and how to use all of my experience, gifts and versatility until Spirit woke me up and told me it is time to do the work I came here to do (although it felt more like a 9.8 earthquake). I am still figuring out a lot of stuff, but I learned to trust the flow of life. If you don’t answer the call of your soul, the call of spirit, you are not in the right relationship with yourself. If you are not in the right relationship with your authentic self, you cannot be in the right relationship with the Universe and life will feel like a big battlefield instead of the amazing gift that it is. Saying yes to life with fearlessness, brings you back in balance with everything that is.
What you see here on this page is the result of that YES. I wish that my art brings you the beauty, peace, harmony, and healing I have been blessed with.
I love you tribe of beautiful souls!
P.S. If your child is a dreamer, an empath or on the sensitive-anxious spectrum, offer him the greatest gift you can give: acceptance. I have been lead to believe all my life that my sensitivity is like a handicap and a weakness. It is not. It is a power. Dreamers dream a new world into being, they are change agents.